Welcome In Your Wild Side with the Respect it Deserves
A sexually adventurous, nonconventional lifestyle has a lot to offer. It can be incredibly fun, mindblowingly pleasurable, and deeply enriching. If that's the life you authentically crave, it's the only life you'll find truly worth living.
However, with greater probability for amazing rewards comes greater risk for potential harm to yourself and your partners: STIs, social stigma, guilt and shame, consent violations, unwanted feelings, jealousy, infidelity... All of these are more likely to happen when you dare to step outside the box.
Our culture is obsessively risk-averse when it comes to sex. It glorifies monogamy and risk avoidance (no matter how much frustration they bring), and vilifies nonmonogamy and thrill-seeking (no matter how much pleasure they bring). It doesn't teach us how to act on your wilder desires safely and ethically - it tells us there is no safe and ethical way to do it.
I'm here to tell you that's a lie. We have evidence that you can live a life of sexual adventure, multiple partners, hookups, sex parties, polyamory, Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell, bisexuality, kink, sex work, cuckolding, gangbangs..., and still be happy, healthy, and loved. There is nothing wrong with you for craving these experiences; it's just a matter of having the tools to do them right.
Using my unique, personalized, science-based Sexual Authenticity Model, we’ll work together to identify what your dream life truly looks like, what obstacles stand in your way, and how to best get you from where you are now to where you want to be.
I've spent my entire professional career understanding unconventional sexual desires, and how they can be embraced safely and ethically. I’m extra tuned-in when working with these kinds of challenges because I’ve personally dealt with them my entire life!
As a sexually precocious teenager and then highly sexually active woman, I know what it’s like to be misunderstood, dismissed, and slut-shamed. And I know what it takes to overcome those challenges.
That back tattoo you see in the photo is a symbol of my lifelong fight—and triumph—against the lulling pull of conformity.
Are you tired of giving in to that pull? Let me help you build a life that celebrates, rather than shames, your unconventional sexual appetite.
Private sessions are right for you if:
- You are about to dive into a nonconventional sexual lifestyle, and want to make sure you do it right.
- You're entering a new level of commitment in your relationship, and need guidance negotiating the "rules of engagement".
- You've been living outside the box but in ways you're not too happy about, and want to start making healthier, better decisions going forward.
- You want deeper insight into yourself, coupled with concrete action plans for a sexually adventurous life.
How It Works
I approach all my private clients from the perspective of the Sexual Authenticity Model.
Most experts by now will tell you that there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to sex and love. But very few will give you a reliable, personalized method to figure out which is the right "size" for you. Even fewer of those methods are based on scientifically sound principles.
The Sexual Authenticity Model is rooted in abundant research evidence that there are basically two good reasons to do anything: Because you crave it (i.e., your desires) or because you believe it’s the right thing to do (i.e., your values), or ideally both. If those two motivations are not aligned with one another, and don’t predominate your sexual and relationship decisions, you will not thrive.
During our sessions, we will go through the 3 steps of the Sexual Authenticity Model on our way to building the love life of your dreams:
- Determine your desires.
- Clarify your values.
- Assess your obstacles.
Using this knowledge, we will then design a life that is in line with your desires and values, while working around your obstacles to maximize pleasure and minimize harm.
Don't worry, I'll gently guide you every step of the way. Figuring out how to have the best sex and love life you can possibly have may seem daunting, but is the most fascinating, beautiful puzzle you will ever have a chance to solve.
"I call Dr. Zhana the “archangel of sex positivity.” She’s an amazing sex educator with the ability to translate complex sex research in a way that’s fun and never judgmental. She has made so many people feel less shame about their sexy desires."
Karley Sciortino
Vice, Slutever
"I have passed on your website to several friends including my mother and my daughters.... They love it and say "she is a positive force for sexuality!"
Jenny
"NYU professor Zhana Vrangalova is New York City’s own ‘Master of Sex’."
