Important question for those who’ve always considered monogamy the “default”, but somehow always felt unfulfilled:

If there was a responsible and scientific way to explore less conventional relationship styles (without the overwhelming and often-harmful “winging it phase” of opening up)…

Would you finally feel comfortable exploring which relationship style is really ideal for YOU?


Get lifetime access to all modules, tests and bonuses

Here’s why anything less than an enthusiastic “yes” is likely to cause problems eventually:

Some people simply aren’t wired for monogamy.

And it’s impossible to be truly satisfied with your life if the structure of your most important relationships is out of alignment with your real desires.

If you’ve ever felt constrained or limited by monogamous relationships…

Or wondered why you can’t seem to just be happy with what you’ve already got…

Or even just questioned for a moment whether non-monogamy might be right for you…

Then you’re in the right place and I’d like you to keep reading.

Because what follows may help you finally understand why you’ve felt this way, and why your past relationships have likely all followed certain predictable patterns…

And I’d like to equip you with the knowledge and skills you need to make informed decisions about your future relationships.

All while navigating the obstacles and complexities of less conventional relationship styles with grace and compassion for those around you.

But first it’s time to acknowledge those private moments of dissatisfaction you’ve felt…

Those quiet moments—perhaps spread over many years—that reveal a painfully-common story of needs unmet and desires unfulfilled

Maybe you’ve had similar thoughts…

Fleetingly, in private moments spread over many years of your relationships…

  • The thought that something must be wrong with you for never being satisfied with what you’ve got… always wanting more, wanting change—no matter how good you already have it
  • That the longer a relationship goes on, the unhappier you get and the more you feel trapped in your own life… and the more of a pull you feel towards new experiences, new hobbies, new people
  • Wondering if other people feel like this too, deep down. Do they feel like they’re just “settling” too? Do they have to make the same concerted effort to be happy with their life and their relationships? Or is it just you?
  • Realizing that your relationship history is punctuated with patterns of behaviour you’re not necessarily proud of—cheating, wanting someone new, or repeatedly jumping from one relationship straight into the next without a moment’s pause
  • The thought that maybe monogamy shouldn’t be this hard… or feel this suffocating

“I love my partner and I knew I struck gold early. Which made me wonder if I’m sick or greedy to be interested in non-monogamy.”

“Eventually I started feeling resentful. Like I wanted to bust out and DO stuff."

“This container of monogamy was starting to feel like it was suffocating me. Like I had to tip-toe around the other person’s traditional desires.”

“I poured all of my energy into other exciting things as a distraction. And eventually just allowed that part of myself to wither.”

“I had this pattern that I couldn’t break free from. I always wanted someone else, even when I was in a relationship.”

“I missed the novelty of it. The excitement of meeting new people."

“Even though I’ve been able to constrain that desire for certain periods of time, it never lasts forever.”

“I started thinking about the idea of CNM, but wasn’t comfortable talking to my partner about it. I was fearful that he’d take it personally or that we’d open up some kind of Pandora’s box that couldn’t be closed again.”

And, ultimately, every time:

It feels like you have to make a choice…


Do you keep trying to settle?

Forcing these feelings down and hoping that you can somehow force this long-term monogamy thing to finally feel like it’s all you’ll ever need?


Or do you decide to act out?

Risking the heartache and the guilt of hurting those around you as you engage in unethical and destructive behaviors to get your own needs met?

Well, perhaps it’s time to recognize a third, more compassionate and ethical option

An option that allows you to explore opening your relationship in a way that meets your needs, while treating those around you with the empathy, the respect, and the compassion you know they deserve.

Because The Good News Is...

There Is a Way to Explore Non-monogamous Relationships Responsibly

Without Taking Unnecessary Risk, or Jumping Straight in the Deep End (Or into the Wrong Pool Entirely!)

With the right tools and guidance, you can:

  • Understand which relationship style is most likely to suit your unique personality and the specific constraints you have in your life right now
  • Decide whether this is the right point in your life to start exploring this type of relationship in practice, or whether the valuable insight you’ve gained can be held in reserve for when you do feel ready and able to start making a change
  • Prepare for the most common issues that come with your ideal relationship style, and equip yourself to handle these obstacles with grace
  • Engage in deeply fulfilling relationships where your needs and desires are fully met—whether by one partner or many

All with the confidence that comes from knowing you’ve made an informed decision—and undertaken that decision responsibly and with compassion for others.

(Even if it turns out that monogamy is right for you after all.)

But first… who am I to guide you on this journey?

Hello! I’m Dr. Zhana Vrangalova and I’m a professor of sexuality at New York University

As a lifelong non-monogamist, I’ve experienced firsthand the trials, tribulations,  and heartache that can accompany opening relationships in the wrong way.


I grew up in Macedonia, a small Eastern-European country with fairly traditional views about sex and love. But from a very young age, I was interested in things society deemed “unacceptable”.

  • I was attracted to people of all genders.
  • I craved casual sex with multiple partners.
  • I felt drawn to the idea group sex.
  • I was curious about kink.

And I could not, for the life of me, understand monogamy.

It's not easy being that kind of teenager in a repressive environment, with no guidance or role models to teach me about the healthy way to have non-monogamous relationships.

But throughout my adult life, I’ve always felt an unmistakable urge to follow my heart and seek relationships that are in alignment with who I am and what I truly want.

My fascination with sexuality and relationships led me to devote my professional life to understanding how people with nonconforming desires navigate sex and love.

My 30-year obsession has been finding the answer to one simple question:

How can we live “outside the box” and still stay safe, sane and loved?

Now, I’ve distilled my personal and professional learnings from the last 30 years into The Open Smarter Method—a research-backed, ethical framework for identifying the right relationship style for YOU, while also giving you the tools to navigate any future relationship transitions with dignity and grace.

Meaning you get to explore non-traditional relationship styles without feeling like you’re risking your current relationships, or “flying blind” as you step into the world of non-monogamy.

But before you can CONFIDENTLY begin down that road, you must first release yourself from…

3 Damaging Relationship Myths

That Need to be Busted – Here and Now


Myth #1

Monogamy is the ideal relationship style for everyone

This is simply, scientifically untrue.

The reality is that, yes – there are some people who are genuinely able to get all of their needs met by one partner and thrive in monogamous relationships…

But there are others who will never thrive in monogamy. No matter how great any single partner is. Or how hard they try to repress their desire for others long-term.

That’s why what can look like the perfect monogamous relationship on the outside…

Can feel like a prison to those with higher levels of desire for others.

And there is a world of variation between these two ends of the spectrum.

Most people fall somewhere in the middle. Between wanting pure monogamy on one end… and wanting fully open relationships on the other.

And there are a whole host of relationship styles to match every point on this spectrum.

But to find the ideal relationship style for us as individuals… we must first be willing to momentarily set aside the “default” of monogamy. So that we explore our own unique personality and desires, and re-learn what 10,000 years of socialization on sexuality and relationships has gotten wrong…

That monogamy is the ideal (or even only) option.


Myth #2

Non-traditional relationship styles are for “weird” people

The truth: Consensual non-monogamists live among us. In all shapes, sizes and colors.

Both as those wonderfully, beautifully weird folks who embrace the alternative, dye their hair blue, and feel completely at home at a sex club in Berlin or doing shrooms at Burning Man…

But they ALSO live among us as regular, otherwise-conventional, middle-of-the-road folks who wouldn’t look out of place at a PTA meeting or filing your taxes.

The truth is that for the last 50 years, popular media has portrayed alternative relationship styles as weird, fringe, or even extreme.

But just as our level of desire for others exists on a spectrum, so too do all of the lifestyle choices of non-monogamists.

So sure – getting your freak on might be exactly what you’re desperate to explore…

But non-traditional relationship styles (and the folks involved in them) come in all flavors—including vanilla.


Myth #3

There must be zero jealousy for open relationships to work

The green-eyed monster does not have to be the bogeyman that limits us to monogamy.

Almost every single open relationship will face the green-eyed monster at some point.

But, often, jealousy is what prevents people from exploring CNM.

Whether it’s fear of our partner being jealous, or feeling jealous ourselves… jealousy has a nasty habit of being wheeled out as a trump card. A non-negotiable, “I feel jealous, so you can’t do X”.

But just like any other emotion, jealousy can be worked through in healthy ways.

When we’re stressed, we reassure ourselves.
When we’re angry, we calm ourselves.

And there are tools and strategies for:

  • Handling jealousy in ourselves
  • Helping partners manage their jealousy
  • Even changing the amount of jealousy that we feel

But first we need to bust this myth that jealousy is incompatible with open relationships.

Jealousy happens.
It can be managed.
It can even be constructive.

And, look... the negative feelings that accompany being trapped in an ill-fitting relationship structure are often FAR bigger feelings than dealing with the little green-eyed monster from time to time.

So when you’re ready to start exploring what it might be like to step outside of the “default”...

I’d like you to consider what it might feel like to open your relationship in a way that serves your needs AND honors those around you

Because if you’ve made it this far, you ALREADY have that hunch that there may be a more fulfilling relationship style for you…

But what you may not know is just how far-reaching the benefits can be – of having a love and sex life that is truly in line with your desires and core values.

When our past students have courageously taken the step towards learning more about themselves and their true preferences, they’ve experienced beautiful moments of self-reflection, enlightenment and growth.

  • They’ve realized that they’re normal.
  • That there are so many others experiencing the same dissatisfaction. And that they’re not alone in their past or present struggles.
  • That they’ve found a place where they can be accepted for what they’ve always seen as their own inadequacies, flaws, and failings.
  • And instead begin the work to forgive themselves for their past mistakes. Whether they’ve had shameful desires, cheated, or attempted to open up in the wrong way and hurt those around them.
  • They’ve experienced moments of enlightenment as they uncover and understand parts of themselves that they had previously repressed—due to stigma, shame and denial. Or simply due to the fact that their real desires are out of alignment with their core values.
  • They’ve begun fulfilling relationships that bring them joy and excitement.
  • And they’ve also strengthened existing relationships by opening up conversations that should have been had many years ago, but that they didn’t have the courage to fully express, or even the words to articulate.

And if you’ll let me, I’d like to help YOU navigate that same journey.

So that you can understand and explore your options in a safe space, free from judgement and pressure—and make an ethical and informed decision about the future of your relationships.


The Open Smarter Method

Open Smarter is the first course of its kind fully engineered to help you find a love and sex life that is as close to your ideal as your unique personality and circumstances allow.

You’ll get access to 45 powerful lessons and tools that will lead you to profound self insight about your desires and preferences, and give you a roadmap for navigating the multitude of relationship options that are available to you.

The Open Smarter Method was created not only for those who have always struggled with monogamy... But also for those who are just starting to wonder what else might be possible for them.

And ANYONE who stands to benefit from having the confidence that the relationships they choose to engage in are the right ones for them. Because they’ve made an informed decision about what’s best for them in this particular phase of their life.


Backed by the Open Smarter 30-day guarantee

Overcoming the Stigma of Non-Monogamy

“This all started for me when my therapist told me she thought I might be polyamorous. I felt like I’d been diagnosed with an illness. I come from a conservative background, so it was hard for me to come to terms with this, given the negative stigma.

But eventually I just thought… I want to know if there’s a way to do this so that it’s honest and true to myself. Open Smarter seemed like the perfect opportunity to slowly dip my toe in the water and explore what this might actually look like. I wanted to learn how to do it properly, without any judgement.

And now that I’ve been through the course, it's really helped de-stigmatize a lot of things for me. I think I’d internalized a lot of that negativity towards non-monogamy. Open Smarter has really expanded my horizons. And helped me have all kinds of constructive conversations with my partner. I have genuinely, really, wholeheartedly enjoyed my time in the course. It's just been delightful and I’m so grateful.”

6 Ways Open Smarter Will Help You Navigate Whatever Relationship Style is Right For You:

  • 12 Core Modules of self-paced video lessons to help you identify your ideal relationship structure, taking into account your unique desires, values and constraints
  • 15 Personality Quizzes to help you determine where you stand on key non-monogamy traits like novelty-seeking, jealousy, assertiveness, and more (and how to work on each trait)
  • 12 Live Class Recordings so you can hear how past students have made sense of and navigated their own experiences of opening up
  • PLUS “The Geek Module” so that you can dive deeper into the science of personality, with 15 lessons and 3.5 hours of content teaching you how human personality works and why we differ from each other
  • PLUS Lifetime Access to the Open Smarter Community so you’re always in touch with other students – able to ask questions and share your own experience as you work through the course
  • PLUS Discounted Access to the Open Smarter Socials where you can meet and connect with other students from around the world via Zoom every month

Here's how it all breaks down...

Part I: The Foundational Modules

The Most Important Information You Need to Have Before Making Life-Changing Decisions About the Future of Your Relationships


Module #1

Nonmonogamy Orientation

In this first module, you’ll dive into the Sexual Authenticity Model – theoretical and practical framework that will help you develop a clear sense of whether monogamy or non-monogamy is more inherently “natural” to you.

Our modern world presents us with SO many options when it comes to sex and relationships. But society gives us very little guidance on how to navigate this increasingly complex maze.

The Sexual Authenticity Model is the foundational set of guidelines that will act as your compass on this journey.

You’ll learn about:

  • The Sexual Authenticity Model: You’ll discover the three components of the model and understand the one guiding principle that will allow you to design your best possible sex and love life, while minimizing harm to those around you.
  • The Modern Monogamy Paradox: We’ll rethink two common but conflicting expectations we’ve been taught to carry into our romantic relationships (often setting them up to fail)
  • The Five Relationship Trajectories: We’ll dissect the five common paths relationships take in response to the monogamy paradox. And you’ll spot the patterns you’ve likely repeated throughout your relationship history – and finally understand why
  • Novelty Drive Assessment: What is “novelty drive”? Where do you sit on the spectrum? And how is it likely to impact the success of your future relationships? (This is THE most important indicator of whether you’re truly “wired” for monogamy or not)
  • Relationship Desires Satisfaction: You’ll learn why you may have struggled to find one single partner who meets all of your needs. And how this factor can mean that even those who are “wired” for monogamy... may find themselves drawn to non-monogamy
  • CNM Values Assessment: You’ll explore and clearly define your beliefs and attitudes towards various relationship options – and discover how these values either align with your desires OR may be the cause of significant internal conflict


Module #2

The 50 Shades of CNM

Now that you understand where YOU sit in terms of your non-monogamy values, you’ll explore the vast array of different relationship structures and start considering what's right for you.

When people think about opening up, they often don’t realize how many ways there are to do so.

Some of these options may work great for you, while others might be a disaster.

So you’ll learn about these 9 key distinctions:

Monogamy vs Nonmonogamy
Partnered vs Solo
Mutually Open vs Open-Mono
Sex Only vs Love Too
All The Way vs Monogamish
Together vs Separate
Strict vs Flexible Rules
Lifestyle vs Sex Work Partners
Disclosure vs Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

And most importantly – you’ll learn which of these “shades” of non-monogamy is likely to work best for you, your desires and values, and your unique circumstances.

So that you can start designing that ideal love and sex life.

Part II: Your Relationship Personality Blueprint

The desires and values you explored in Part I are what determine whether you want non-monogamy.

But even if you want it, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be any good at it… or that it will go well for you and your partners.

So in Part II, you’ll dive deep into the 10 traits that research suggests are absolutely key to how nonmonogamy is likely to play out for you—whether you’re currently predisposed to finding it a breeze or whether you’ll find it much more challenging.

The 10 Personality Traits That Define Your Chances of Success with Non-monogamy

For each trait, you’ll learn:

  • What the trait is and why it matters for open relationships
  • Where you fall on the spectrum, and what that says about your personality and ideal relationship style
  • How you can work to change this trait if you’re not happy with your current level

You'll get actionable steps on how to improve your low score if any trait is holding you back from thriving in the relationships that you really want.

Trait #1

Attachment Patterns

The attachment patterns you carry from childhood impact all aspects of your adult relationships. Insecure attachment styles can cause us to unconsciously push people away, or become too needy too quickly.

You’ll learn about your own attachment style, plus you’ll get strategies for dealing with insecure attachment so that you can have more stable and fulfilling relationships.

Trait #2

Emotional Stability

The complexity of open relationships can often lead to anxiety-inducing events—whether it’s a break-up, logistical issues, or miscommunication between various partners.

How you cope with the negative emotions around these events can often have a bigger impact than the event itself. So you’ll learn how to better regulate your emotions so that you can maintain the relationship styles that bring you most happiness.

Trait #3

Cognitive Flexibility

Ambiguity and change are inherent to any non-monogamous relationship. The cognitive flexibility required to deal with this kind of change is rarely talked about, but it makes a big difference in how you approach your relationships.

In this module, you’ll learn how to expand your cognitive flexibility so that you can thrive in these less predictable styles of relationships.

Trait #4


Assertiveness is crucial for getting your needs met and setting boundaries in any relationship. But it becomes even more essential in non-monogamy, as you now need to set clear and healthy boundaries with ALL of your sexual and romantic partners.

In this module, we’ll look at where assertiveness begins and ends, the different facets of it, and why it’s so crucial. And you’ll work through strategies for becoming more assertive if you’re lacking in this essential trait.

Trait #5


How much do you feel for others? Or with others? And to what extent are you motivated to alleviate their discomfort when you notice it?
In this module, you’ll explore your capacity for empathy and compassion, so that you can set fair rules and agreements with your romantic partners.

Plus you’ll learn how to cultivate more empathy and compassion if you’re on the low end of the spectrum.

Trait #6


In this module, you’ll learn how to conquer the fear of the green-eyed monster that's holding you back from having the relationship style you want. Whether it’s your own jealousy or that of your partner.

You’ll learn what jealousy really is, why we feel it, and how to engage in healthy open relationships even if you fall on the higher end of the spectrum.

Trait #7

Social Stigma Resilience

Living a non-monogamous lifestyle is still heavily stigmatized. How much stigma you experience, and how well-equipped you are to handle it, can make or break your attempt at opening up.

In this module, you’ll learn how to manage the stigma and judgement that alternative lifestyles can still carry with them in many parts of the world.

Trait #8

Sexual Risk Tolerance

Our level of comfort with sexual risk is rarely talked about in discussions around sexual health.
The right sexual health protocol is one that fits your own and your partners’ levels of risk tolerance.

In this module, you’ll calculate the level of sexual risk you’re comfortable with, so that you can design sexual health protocols that are right for you.

Trait #9

Pleasure Capacity

Sometimes our bodies struggle to keep up with our desires, whether it’s difficulty becoming aroused in the moment, failing to climax, or simply having difficulty fully letting go in new situations.

In this lesson, you learn about sexual arousal excitation, inhibition, and orgasmic capacity. And you’ll learn how to increase your capacity for pleasure in your most fun homework assignment yet!

Trait #10

Infatuation Susceptibility

How quickly you fall in love is a key trait to be aware of when engaging in any kind of non-monogamy. In this lesson, you’ll learn the basics about romantic love and how it operates. Plus you’ll learn how much we all differ in how strongly it affects us.

So that you can manage that “new relationship energy” and cope with catching feelings for your multiple sexual and romantic partners in ways that don't damage your pre-existing relationships.

Part III: The Geek Module

Science of Personality – Why and How We Differ

Bonus Module

Science of Personality – Why and How We Differ

Now you’ve identified your own ideal relationship style and explored the traits of successful non-monogamy, it’s time to dive into what I lovingly call “The Geek Module”.

This is your chance to take the Psych 101 class you always wanted to take. This “Science of Personality” module consists of 15 lessons and 3.5 hrs of video content providing invaluable insight into yourself and others.

You’ll learn why and how you got to be the way you are, PLUS how (and why) others differ from you. You’ll also find out how you compare to other people… and what that means for your life and relationships.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

  • Everything on a Spectrum: How psychological traits work in general, the spectrum that they all exist on, and the problem with categorizing personality traits
  • Why Evolution Created the Spectrum: The evolutionary reasons that we differ from one another and why knowing how a trait is distributed helps us to understand ourselves better
  • Gender Differences: How much men and women differ on certain psychological traits and why misinterpreting the nature of these differences can be incredibly damaging
  • Nature and Nurture: What are the specific factors that make us different? Learn how genes and upbringing, personal experiences, and our biological environment interact with each other to create truly unique individuals
  • Set-Point Changeability: How set in stone are your personality traits? Is our psychology really changeable in a meaningful way? And if so, how can we make that change?

And as if this level of personal reflection, insight and guidance wasn’t enough…

You’ll ALSO Become a Member of the Open Smarter Community

Because realizing you may not be suited for monogamy can be a lonely experience—with so much stigma keeping valuable conversations shut behind closed doors or left completely unsaid.

In the Open Smarter online community, you’ll be able to connect with other students from around the world to learn from their experiences of non-monogamy and share your own as you work through the course.


Backed by the Open Smarter 30-day guarantee

Breaking Frustrating Dating Patterns and Embracing Vulnerability

“I had a dating pattern I was struggling to break free from. I always desired somebody else, even when I was in a relationship.

I would be so in love but then as time went on, I would have these recurring thoughts about other people. And then I would want to do something about it because it would just be so consistent. I just missed being with other people. It never stops.

So when I was honest about this with a previous girlfriend, we decided to open up our relationship. But eventually her jealousy just kind of took over. And I didn't know how to navigate that. But then I found Open Smarter. And I figured Dr. Zhana would be able to help navigate all of these problems I was having.

Now I’ve been through the course, I understand myself so much better. About some of my attachment patterns and the way I am on an emotional level. It’s allowed me to have some really quite vulnerable conversations that I maybe wouldn’t have been comfortable having before. Communicating my real needs and feelings.

I’m grateful that I’ve learned so much. And I’m looking forward to taking a new level of understanding of myself into future relationships.”

I’m Giving You the Opportunity to Enroll in the Full Open Smarter Course TODAY at a Special Price Of…

A value of $5,079


Now Only $697!


Get lifetime access to all videos, tests, exercises and bonuses.

You'll get:

  • Part I: The Foundational Modules
  • Part II: Your Relationship Personality Blueprint
  • Part III: The Geek Module
  • Access to the Open Smarter community
  • Monthly Open Smarter Social

Plus you’ll be backed by…

The 30-Day “Open Smarter” Guarantee

The promise is SIMPLE.

Follow the lessons, complete the self-assessments and work through your results. And reach out when you need some extra support from me or my “A team” of non-monogamy experts.

If you still don’t feel clear on what style of relationship is the best match for you within 30 days, giving you a sense of excitement and hope for happier, healthier relationships…

I’ll insist that you email us at [email protected] for an immediate refund.

Why am I so confident in doing this?

  • You’ll get your most impactful “OMG that’s me!” lightbulb moments of profound insight right at the start of the course in modules 1 and 2.
  • With this “straight out of the box” momentum, I’m confident that you’ll quickly get clarity on what your ideal relationship format would be. And that you’ll be more motivated than ever to keep honing in on that ideal love and sex life that balances your desires with your specific constraints and values.
  • The frameworks, models and strategies you’ll be learning have served as the backbone of MANY happy and healthy open relationships – for myself and for my students. So I’m completely confident that they’ll do the same for you.
Burning Questions

8 Questions Your Fellow “Open-Curious” Folks Asked Before Saying "Yes" to Finally Exploring Which Relationship Style is Really Right For Them

Q8. Can you remind me of what I’m getting today when I enroll today?

You'll get:

  • Part I: The Foundational Modules
  • Part II: Your Relationship Personality Blueprint
  • Part III: The Geek Module
  • Access to the Open Smarter community
  • Monthly Open Smarter Social

Backed by the Open Smarter 30-day guarantee

Joining Us Inside Open Smarter is the Right Choice For You If...

  1. You’re just starting out on this journey, and you want to make sure you get it RIGHT by using only research-backed strategies that take you and your unique situation into account (no “cookie cutter” approach that will ultimately cause more harm than good).
  2. You’ve tried to make monogamy work for months, years, or even decades in the past… but it hasn’t led to the satisfaction or fulfillment you were hoping for in life. And the idea of this being “all there is” gets you all existential, wondering what the point of it all really is.
  3. You already have a hunch that maybe there’s something to this non-monogamy thing.
  4. You’ve spent a good amount of time thinking about this, even if it’s just been the seed of an idea… and it’s made more sense the more you think about it. Only problem is, without a clear roadmap on how to do it responsibly, you've always written it off as impossible.
  5. You’re willing to put in the work. Because you know that on the other side of this period of learning, reflection and long-overdue communication, is a life where you finally feel happy. And you’re ready to start moving towards that happiness, even if you know there will be bumps along the way.
  6. You’re aware of how important this is. You’ve felt the effects of being in the wrong style of relationship, and you know you can’t continue down that path. And you’re DOUBLY excited that Open Smarter includes access to a community of your peers, so that you don’t have to go through this potentially life-changing journey alone.
  7. Even if you’ve tried opening up before and it didn’t go well, you’re feeling a renewed sense of optimism, knowing that by this time tomorrow, you’ll finally have some concrete answers. You’ll know whether you’re wired for monogamy, or whether this disconnect between your personality and your relationship styles is what’s been driving your lack of fulfillment. And you’ll understand exactly which style of non-monogamy (or monogamy) is most likely to bring you happiness.
  8. You care deeply about not hurting those around you. You’re skeptical when others talk about polyamory or CNM without explaining how to make the transition in the real world, with real people, real feelings and real lives at stake. That’s why you appreciate that Open Smarter teaches you how to balance your desires with your pre-existing constraints and commitments, to minimize any harm caused if you do choose to make a change.
  9. You feel confident joining me inside Open Smarter knowing you have 30 days to test it out. It's simple. Either you do the work and experience more clarity and confidence in the next 30 days than you have in your ENTIRE relationship history... or you shoot me and my team a quick message asking us to hit undo on this whole "maybe we should open up" experiment.

If you said “yes” to at least 6 of the above, then I absolutely cannot wait to meet you inside the Open Smarter program.


Backed by the Open Smarter 30-day guarantee

Supporting a Partner in Their Exploration of Non-Monogamy

“My wife wanted to open up our relationship because she realized some of her needs were going unmet in our marriage. But I was worried it was risky and irreversible—messing with our marriage in a way that we couldn’t get back from.

We wanted to make sure we didn’t make mistakes that would hurt each other. We thought maybe we can shortcut some of the heartache and some horrible situations.

Even after watching the first few videos and doing the personality quizzes, I feel so much better about this. I understand my wife better and how she differs from me… and I understand a bit more now that the things she’s been talking about are “real” things rather than just some whim or random phase. I know now that this might not be easy, but it’s a necessary conversation.

The course has made me more open-minded. Overall, it’s just helped me understand and empathize with my partner better about what she’s been feeling. I really think we would have struggled to get through this without the course.

My Biggest Fear For You Right Now…

Is that you leave this page “on the fence”, telling yourself it DOES seem to make sense… but that you can probably figure it out on your own or deal with it another time

Here are 3 ways I’ve seen that indecision play out for others in your position.


They’ll kick the can down the road for months, or even years

Whatever prison they’re in—whether it’s frustration, confusion, or dissatisfaction with their relationship or their life as a whole—they’ll stay trapped. Knowing that they had a chance to explore a happier alternative, but ultimately not having the courage to tentatively, safely explore that better life for themselves.


Their dissatisfaction will result in destructive patterns of behaviour

Pushing these feelings and desires further down only works for so long before they erupt – much more likely to hurt others than if they were dealt with in a responsible and intentional way. Cheating, serial monogamy, heartbreak, poor mental health… all symptoms of this problem being allowed to fester, rather than being addressed head-on.


If they do open up, they’ll do it in a way that causes more harm

They’ll choose a style of non-monogamy that isn’t a good fit for them or their partner. Or they’ll do it in a way that has them burning through relationships but never reaching that real sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that comes from putting in the work to do this the right way.

And that missed opportunity for self-fulfillment truly breaks my heart.

So with 30 days to learn about the Open Smarter method risk-free… the only thing you risk right now is walking away and heading down the wrong path.

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